brk-in-nyc

new york city is surprisingly dull when you're broke. I mean, i'm sure there are a lot of free things to do, but even then, you still spend all your time being miserable and moping about because you wish you had more money to spend. God... I can't even remember when I last bought myself some new clothes, or treated myself to a really good effin dinner, or splurged on a cab ride when i didnt feel like walking.

of course things havent been a complete mess without cash. I went to the beach with Connie and Pammy and that was pretty chillaxing, and all i really had to pay for was the train fare. But then of course, I got hungry and completely surrendered my spare change to the overpriced goodies at Coney Island (except that funnel cake was pretty shitty and not worth the $5 we paid for it). I still go to restaurants... I just usually end up getting water and watching everyone else eat, or mooching off of a really kind and caring friend. I've filled my days with work and computer/internet junk and trying to rack my brain for ideas for a script for the film i'm making in the fall-- so i try not to think about how poor i am.

except i went to this byob affair this past saturday nite and i got really upset because the only thing i could afford to buy was a coors light 40 ouncer, which, as large and beer-filled as it is, got me to a substantial level of tipsy but then completely wore off haf an hous later. I wanted to get piss-fucking drunk, but i'll have to wait til i'm richer in the pockets.

And it's not even like i don't work or anything... I put in 34 hours a week at Todman, and i could even be workin at Kim's and puttin in a few more hours there, or following in my cousin's footsteps and pursue my inevitable career in male erotic dancing (but then i decided that no matter how much the pay, im not lettin some grubby old gay man touch me up just so he can get off). *sigh* I'm doin all this work for the sake of funding my film in the fall-- the film that I don't even have a clue what it's about yet!!!

so, anyways, im in new york city. its really hot. im really broke. and on top of it all, im breaking out all over my face.

fuck.